Fighting A Losing Battle

Life's not fair sometimes. I am coming up on my senior year in college and trying to write my resume. For the leadership roles section, I have nothing. I have tried to obtain multiple leadership roles since I have been at NIU but I keep getting turned down. For example, tonight was my chance to be an e-board member for PRSSA and I ran for two positions and I didn't get either. I think that it was because I don't have enough experience or leadership positions. So okay, maybe the people I was running against were better qualified than me. That's okay and they deserve the position. But then all I can think about is how there's one more leadership opportunity for them to add to their laundry list of experience and I am still left with nothing. How can I have any experience if I never get the chance to be a leader?

I feel like it is a pointless effort trying to put myself out there and show people what I can do. It is really frustrating to keep getting turned down. I try to help out whenever I can with anything, and it's like my effort doesn't matter. It's not just with PRSSA but with my jobs, school, friends, family and everything. I try as hard as I can to go above and beyond my duties to please people and I never get any recognition for my work. It's like trying to fight a losing battle. I want to show people what I am capable of but I never get the opportunity.

I just want people to see me, to see what I can do, to show them my commitment. I just want to be recognized...for once.

Family Ties

Okay so here is the low down. My dad was married before he married my mom and had a son, Dan, with his first wife. Then, he married my mom and had me and then my little brother, Brian. Before Brian was born, Dan and I met when I was around one or two years old. Then, he moved out west with his mom, and we lost all communication up until about two years ago.
So, for the past two years, Dan and I have been talking on and off catching up on each others lives. I learned that he now has three children, the oldest of whom is named after me. (Grace Allyse) His other two children are Matthew Colten and Christopher Jayden. I couldn't believe that I was actually an aunt to three such beautiful children. I only wish I was in their life more. You see, Dan and his family currently live in Arizona. Also, I have never really met them before, at least not at a time that I actually remember. I regret this more than anything.
Ever since I found out about Dan, I was always curious. And I didn't really understand completely until a few years ago. Did he hate me for taking his dad away? Did he even care about me? Did he even consider me his sister? I had so many insecurities. I was so curious and wanted him to like me. Then, we began talking and I soon realized that we had the same insecurities. We both wanted each other in each other's lives. He wanted a little sister, and I wanted a big brother. I had never been so happy when I heard this. My entire life I wished that I had an older sibling and in a matter of minutes I gained one, along with a sister-in-law, a niece and two nephews.
I am just so glad to have Dan in my life. I have always known that he was out there and always wondered what he was like. Now, I know. I tried to fill the position of a big brother with my older cousin and he is amazing to me but it wasn't the same because I knew that I had a real brother out there somewhere that I didn't know. Life has been pretty rough lately, and getting to know Dan and his family has made me so much more optimistic and happy lately. Dan is an amazing man, and I am more than lucky to be related to him. I can only hope that we continue on this path to an amazing brother/sister relationship. I will not allow myself to lose contact with him again. I want him to be a part of the rest of my life. (I love you, Dan.)
I am even more excited for this summer, and hopefully I will be able to finally meet him again as well as the rest of my family.

Thanks for reading.

Finally Blogging!

So, I finally decided to create my own blog. I am a member of PRSSA at NIU and our wonderful president has drilled into our heads the importance of blogging and how it helps when looking for a job. So, I decided to begin my blogging journey with my very own blog.
My life has been pretty crazy lately with school, my part-time job, being a member of PRSSA, looking for internships, and trying to maintain a social life in the process. I have had my ups and downs throughout life which has made me into the person that I am today and I am very grateful for it. That's why the name of my blog is "A Lease on Life."
I feel that everyone has their own lease on life and that they should make the most of it. Also, I thought it was cute because my name is Allyse and I will mostly be blogging about life in general as well as my own personal experiences. I will be blogging mostly about music, books, celebrity gossip, public relations/event planning, food and relationships with family, friends and significant others.
Enjoy!